I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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