he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
