i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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