no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
