I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
