i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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