and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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