So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Vodka?
Forever.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Im part way to drunk.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
