ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
