Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
