Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
