return my video game
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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