i just had sex bonerless
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Actions speak louder than pants.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
