we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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