Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
