I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
