He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Randomize
