The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
