Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
