I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
