ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
