the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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