There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
