he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Shame - the story of my life.
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