so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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