He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
