So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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