Please, let me fuck your mom
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
