it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
