I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
