you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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