I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think I sprained my soul last night
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
