Redeem this text for a blowjob
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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