this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
