Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
