Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
