Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
