I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
40s are totally the cure
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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