Its about making memories worth repressing
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
