She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
