Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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