we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
