he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
either way he was missing a nipple.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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