hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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