One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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