I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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