you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
