At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
