is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
