Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
