no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
