There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
